In 2020, there was only one topic that was always topical and was slowly but surely getting on everyone's nerves. Many restrictions, new laws and constantly updated case numbers dominated the media landscape at all times and made everyday life even grayer than it already was.
But over the course of the year, we heard rumours from various sources, from various directions, about a mobilization, a meeting, an actual implementation of an idea, or rather, a new culture of life. Without exaggerating, the media interest in this new project was greater than in this unnamed virus, whose name is of course known to the editors but is not mentioned here due to the FOPH measures. In the first third of the year, four young, wild, athletic, muscle-bound, sun-kissed, almost heavenly types, together with the well-known red-haired boy, founded the new club - Die Wanderhuren.
As the media interest and the outcry from the public quickly exceeded or almost destroyed every internal club record many times over, the board had to react and called an unofficial, official marketing hike at short notice, which was held on this autumnal Sunday.
The board showed their most intelligent side when they put into practice the idea that the most beautiful members should be shown on the film during a marketing hike. They asked for a small selection of the most beautiful members, but they all declined. So the average, almost run-of-the-mill looking members had to step in and provide the actors for this special hike.
The organizer, President Egger himself, invited everyone to meet at the train station in Uznach at 08:45. In the presence of the glorious morning sun, the participants arrived hungover, tired or full of energy at the familiar meeting point. The group discussed the absence of certain participants and wondered why these sociable individuals were missing today. In particular, it should be mentioned that one of the board members, better known as the poet or simply as Hafner, was also absent for unknown reasons. Silja S. was also absent.
Divided up into the various vehicles, the honorable wandering whores made their way to the Mittelwängi parking lot in Kaltbrunn. One vehicle, which did not show up at the meeting point, reported a slight delay, which could easily be an hour with these people from Zurich. While the members who had already arrived were chatting with the film crew, which consisted of Sara, Sabrina and a couple of badly-used pack mules, about what was going to happen today, the aforementioned vehicle appeared on the horizon. The people involved were very conspicuous, as they arrived with a flag, which was not visible as usual, but could be smelled this time. It was another board member, Tony or better known as Scheisstony, who provided that certain scent. The club's executive body, which is always on the lookout for the next irregularity and then happily hands out the punishment shots, was actually late and even forgot his shots at home. As he certainly didn't keep a record of his shot account, I'm happy to personally take over this matter in this report. Even before the start of the hike, a considerable sum had already been collected. Thanks to him, four occupants in the vehicle first failed to arrive at the meeting (+4), then arrived late to the parking lot (+4), he forgot the penalty shots (+1), but he had a considerable flag to show for it (-1). Intermediate score for Tony before the hike (T=8).
The pack mules were packed, the film crew was ready and the hiking group was, as always, in a very good mood. We set off from the Mittelwängi parking lot to the first stopover, the water fountain behind Alp Hinterwängi. The obligatory “Wanderhuren” wine cups were pulled out and the first corks popped into the morning sky. With wide and astonished eyes, another shot-worthy misstep was recorded. One member had actually forgotten the most important, almost the most essential utensil on a hike. No, we're not talking about hiking boots or the abundance of drinks, but this unique, wonderfully successful masterpiece, the wine cup. The member was not unknown, as he was another member of the Wanderhuren board. One of the original members, Raffi, also known as Schnäfel, had actually forgotten about this holy object.
After tasting the first fine wines, the film team took over. Specific instructions were given to the actors in an almost military-like manner. There were several breaks for the filming, which came in handy for some of the participants, as the ascent was relatively steep. In just under 3.9 km, the ascent from a starting altitude of 1153 m.a.s.l. to the Speer peak, which is 1950 m.a.s.l., was 856 meters high. Sara and Sabrina made perfect use of every situation to capture the participants in the ideal light, from the exact angle and at the best moment. In addition to a drone, various cameras were used to capture as much raw material as possible for the final marketing film, which is expected to be presented at the first AGM in 2021.
With Tony's flag fading and Egger's sweaty hipster outfit, we reached the long-awaited Nagelflugrat via Bützli, which led us ever closer to today's destination. After reaching the ridge, a group of six people dropped off slightly before being ordered back by the organizer for more drone shots. The group demanded a penalty shot each for the organizer for all six members, as the extra metres of altitude increased the risks of painful cramps and loud shouting enormously. As the organizer was almost mentally, psychologically and emotionally preparing for the series of shots, some voices were raised that our dearest Tony had forgotten exactly these penalty shots or that Tony should also drink one for each of the six shots or even the classic calls, Scheisstony, went through the rounds. After an almost unanimous democratic vote, Tony's shot account grew to (T=14) after this incident (+6).
With the last groaning breaths and various cursing sounds, the group reached the top of the highest Nagelfluh mountain in Europe at around 1 pm. The still cool, delicious and partially sealed white wines were drawn out and a toast was raised to today. Many home-made dishes were shared within the hiking group and enjoyed while taking in the incredible view. With blood pressure and breathing slowly returning to human levels, our president spoke up again with his head held high. We still had to decide which route we would take back. The vote ended unanimously in favor of the same route we had already taken on the ascent. Although the president was not in favor of this route and cast his vote for his variant. With Tony's quote (-1=T13) that Egger's vote doesn't count anyway, everyone was suddenly of the same opinion.
The steep descent didn't necessarily push our endurance to the limit, but it did put a strain on our joints and especially our knees. With the constant intake of the liquid miracle cure, which in part acted as a painkiller as the amount and time increased, even these exertions were overcome with relative ease. At Alp Hinterwängi, Schnäfel invited the whole hiking family for a drink, as he was celebrating his birthday without colleagues the next day, thank you Celä.
The last official hike was slowly but surely coming to an end. After the board hike on the Grosse Aubrig, the club hikes on the Rigi and Augstmatthorn, the hiking weekend on the Rinerhorn and the official end of the season in Moslig, we were able to enjoy the last excellently organized tour of the year today. A big thank you goes to the film team, consisting of Sara and Sabrina, the organizer Egger and all the participants who showed their best in front of the lens on this day. We are looking forward to the film premiere at the 2021 AGM and are excited to see which hikes we can enjoy and experience as a hiking family again next year.
Text: Dominik Glaus
